Jokes and Riddles

Farm Jokes

Crossing the meadow is free, but the bull charges!

 

Why can't you tell secrets on a farm?

Because the corn has ears.

 

Why did the cabbage win the race?

Because it was ahead.

 

What do you call a horse that lives next door?

A neigh-bor.

 

Why do cows like jokes?

Because they like to be amoosed.

 

What's a sheep’s favourite game?

Baaadminton.

 

What do you call a cow you can't see?

Camooflaged.

 

What did mama cow say to the calf?

It's pasture bedtime.

 

Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

 

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

 

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

 

What's the worst kind of weather for rats and mice?

When it's raining cats and dogs.

Playing with Words

What's the difference between Joan of Arc and Noah's Ark?

Noah's Ark is made of wood, bur Joan of Arc was Maid of Orleans.

 

Why did the frankfurter turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing. 

 

Why is 10 afraid of 7?

Because 7 - 8 - 9.

 

A cabbage, a tap and a tomato had a race. How did it go?

The cabbage was ahead, the tap was running, and the tomato tried to ketchup.

 

Who's the biggest: Mr Bigger, Mrs Bigger or Baby Bigger?

Baby Bigger, because he's just a little Bigger.

 

Two nuns are travelling through Transylvania in their car. All of a sudden, a vampire appears in front of the car. The driver whispers to her companion: "Show him your cross." The nun leans out and shouts "Get out of the way, you toothy git!"

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© Susanne Saint-Mont